Posts Tagged ‘Just Me’

Second Thoughts

I’m having major second thoughts about this whole going back to college idea…

I went to my campus this past week to get some paperwork sorted out, and I got lost.  Not on the way there, not on campus…I got lost in the main building.  It’s three stories tall.  I couldn’t find the elevator. 

I have completely lost my mind.  I’m confused, I don’t know where to go on campus or who to talk to or what to do, and I haven’t even attended my first class!  It has me wondering how I’ll ever be able to negotiate college in my 30’s.

I’ve also started freaking out now that I’m making my to-do lists and working on my scheduling.  I’m starting to realize that a lot of things are going to have to change if I do this.  I am passionate about leading our children’s ministry at our church, but I may have to give it up while I’m in school.  My youngest is going to start playing T-ball this spring…how many T-ball games will I have to miss because I’m studying or working to pay for college?  How many bedtime stories will I not get to read?  How many nights will I get 3 or 4 hours of sleep because I’m cramming for a major test?  What if I do a year’s worth of work and don’t get into the program I want?  What if I do get in and start school full time?  What about spending time with my family, hanging out with friends, running, reading, traveling with my family?  I have a life that I really love, and I’m starting to wonder how much of it I’m going to have to give up and whether or not this whole college idea is worth it…yes, I want to finish my degree, but is the price I’ll have to pay to get there going to be worth it?  Three years seemed so short at first…now it looks like an eternity looming before me.


One of those weeks…

Ever have one of those days when you just want to crawl back into bed and pull up the covers?  It’s been one of those weeks for me…let’s just say it’s not been spectacular and it’s not getting better.  The first part was actually ok, but these last two days have been full of yucky weather (which caused me to miss my run this morning, which did not help my general grumpiness), annoying tech support people (after two years on the job, yes, I do know how to use the software at work, and I know enough to know you messed it up instead of fixing it!), plumbing issues (overflowing toilets…not fun), and general stress.  It won’t be a relaxing weekend, either.  We have a day planned tomorrow to work on my children’s ministry rooms at church, then a busy Sunday as we start rehearsing with the kids for our Christmas program.  (And my family wonders why our house is a little chaotic?)  But, thankfully, next week is one of my very favorite holidays…and I only work two days…and we don’t have Wednesday night services at church…next week will be a better week.

5 Things on My Bucket List

1. visit Israel

2. white water rafting

3. rapelling

4. write a book & get it published

5. go on a missions trip to a foreign country

College Here I Come!

I’m so excited…I registered for two college yesterday!  I’ve been thinking about and praying about this for so long, but it didn’t really feel “real” until yesterday.  Having that slip of paper in my hand with my advisor’s signature and my class schedule was such an awesome feeling!  My classes will be challenging – not to mention the balancing act of juggling family, home, work, church, kids activities, and now college – but I’m more excited about this than I’ve been about anything for a very long time.

And it begins…

I am so excited about going back to college in January!  I’m surprised by the fact that the stress has already started, though!

It’s been almost 10 years since I quit college after my sophmore year to get married and start a family.  It’s a decision I’ve never regretted, but I always knew I wanted to go back and finish school.  The time never seemed to be right…until this past summer when I brought up the idea, and my husband said, “Go for it!”

My first appointment with my advisor is next Thursday, when I’ll register for classes and find out how much of my previous 67 hours will transfer to my new college in another state.  I’m nervous but so excited!  I feel like I’m starting a new chapter of my life…turning 30, going back to school…life is going to get even crazier when January rolls around!

I can’t be the only mom…

  • Who is fighting gray hair and acne at the same time.
  • Who sometimes locks herself in the bathroom with a good book just to get a few minutes of peace.
  • Who has days when I don’t like myself as a mom or as a person in general.
  • Who things bulldozing my kids bedrooms and starting over would be easier than cleaning them up.
  • Who sometimes feels so overwhelmed by my house and my to-do list ath I want to pull the covers over my head and hide from it all.
  • Who has found parenting is so much more awesome than I ever thought it would be!